Catching up...

I know it's been a long time since I blogged...where to start...
Ah yes...
The Dalai Lama...
He was amaaazing!!!

The turmoil in me began when he asked us to kneel down and take the Bodisattva Vow to stay until every last being on Earth has achieved Enlightenment.

That brought tears to my eyes as the conflict raged inside me - the desire to be of Service and the desire to "Go Home". This was not the first time I had taken this vow over the years, but this time I was really conflicted...

There had been a deep weariness in me - I've been "Here" for eons...was sooo ready for a long r&r "Home"...and I had promised to be here til the end...

That conflict collided with the fact that since i was a young child I had never been able to "see" myself past the age of 56 yrs old.
Drumroll.....
I had turned 56 in June last year...

The conflict lead my body to start a series of physical events to make it true...That lead to a wakeup call that took me to depression to despair and finally Renewal...

I have more energy now, and things are more synchronous, flowing...

Joy is creeping in on silent cat's feet, padding across my consciousness and Heart, nesting itself into my cells again...



I'm Home in my Heart ... Now...

Love & Blessings
Li Lan